need another drink. this is the easiest way
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
