its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
