just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
