Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
