____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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