Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
