and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
