you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize