Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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