what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
