I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
