Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That's intense
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
