Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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