I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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