someone get that fucking seahorse.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
