"it" just moved
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
