In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize