A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
