that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
