i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My vagina is very pro this idea
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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