make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
