I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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