non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
