It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
