It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
