just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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