idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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