hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
where am i from again
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize