names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize