i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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