Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
