I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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