How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
