O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
