yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The uberlube is also flammable
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
