So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You are the jesus of drinking
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
