and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
