I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
