I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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