Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I could fuck to npr.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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