It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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