It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
