all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
