There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
