:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize