He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
