I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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