the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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