1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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