Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
