She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
