so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
