Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize