It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I love having hate sex.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
