i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
