Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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