He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
