You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
