we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
