I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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