Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
