If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
4 words: hood of his car
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
