sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize