New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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