I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
