we're blogging at a bar
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
