I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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