Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
