the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
